New Stock Market Terms

Gotta love these...

New Stock Market Terms
CEO- Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO- Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET- a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband lives in the doghouse.

VALUE INVESTING- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER - What my financial planner has made me.

STANDARD & POOR- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT - an archaic word no longer in use.